Tag Archives: thoughts

{ways artichokes are like humans}

14 May

it’s artichoke season!!!

artichokes-1

and thank goodness for that!!!!  i wrote a blog or two about them last spring… i just love these beautiful babies. although they do take an awful lot of work to prepare for such a little amount of actual flesh… it’s SO worth it – the scrumptiousness waiting inside doesn’t quite compare to any other…

it got me thinking about how artichokes are kind of like us, like humans…

i know you may be chuckling thinking how the heck can i be like a green pokey vegetable?!  well… the way i see it –

artichokes-2

an artichoke looks like a flower.

just like us 🙂 Continue reading →

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{i miss my mama}

10 May

happy mother’s day, judi!

mom

i miss you more than there are words for.  i celebrate who you were as my mother every day.  on your anniversary this year, i was strong – no tears… i even went to work – i smiled and thought of your smile all day.  but this week has been rough. i couldn’t figure out why my emotions have been so high… sometimes it just hits me, yanno?!  i miss you more than ever, it seems.  i’m a “big girl” now, and all i want is my mommy.  i want to ask your advice, introduce you to people i meet, have lunch with you, buy you sweaters and scarves, make you smoothies, paint your fingernails, and brush your hair for you.  i also miss giving you back-scratches.  i know i always complained about doing that for you, but i would do it as my full time job now if i could – and nothing seemed to make me fall asleep like a back-scratch from you… i miss the littlest things.   i don’t wallow in sadness when i miss you… i mean, it hurts – they lie when it says it gets easier with time… it actually gets harder, one just finds ways to cope.  but i do find that some moments are extraordinarily harder than others…

i always say your death was “bittersweet” because i just can’t find another word to help me accept that it happened. even 20 years later – i don’t know who i’d be if it didn’t happen, and i don’t know how happy or healthy you would’ve been if it didn’t… so all i can really do is be extra grateful that YOU were my mother in this lifetime.  that for 13 glorious years, you were the one tucking me in at night and making silly “bear” faces in the car on roadtrips to visit family. all i can do each year on mother’s day is remember the wonderful things you did for me as my mother.

i’ll close with a few of the reasons and memories i have that made you the best mom ever : Continue reading →

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{whatever wednesday} — whatever!

9 Jan

seriously though – whatever.

i mean, i have so much to catch you all up on.  not only delicious food and drinks but also photos and updates on practically everything.  my entire life has shifted and there is an abundant amount of change occurring in every corner… not only in my own life, but in everything i see around me.

i moved recently.  totally different environment. it just happened so fast, everything is happening so fast… it’s for the best, and i’m just going to trust my heart on this one… still in the transitional period, but am integrating well…

my diet is changing more and more every day.  i cleansed for a few weeks prior to 12/21 – and i’m sure that effected my body.  i’ve noticed now that i can’t tolerate certain foods anymore… i literally spit out a piece of ham over the holidays.  i’m not one for eating much meat anyway, but i like to savour it as a treat on special occasions.  i couldn’t eat it.  i don’t know if it was the salt or if my body is just that smart but i was like, “okay, i can’t eat pork anymore, ever.”  i also have been eating less wheat. even though it’s not prevalent in my diet, i can’t stomach it much anymore… it’s hard for me to digest.  i recognize this and so i just listen to what my body is telling me… dairy.  ohhh – damn you, dairy!  i haven’t really been one to drink a lot of milk or eat a lot of ice cream {i’m kind of lying on that one} but i do loves me some cheese. mm mm, but ohhhhh no i can’t do it anymore. some are better than others – parmesan and feta aren’t so bad.  i’m pretty much down to a vegan diet lately. and i don’t like soy products or highly processed foods, so that basically keeps me down to eating almost a raw organic diet.  and i guess i’m mentioning this because it could greatly shift what this blog is all about.  it’s a new year, and mine has been off to a start full of change and i’m free-flowing in the wind… a blank canvas.

what else?!  so i moved, i’m vegan… oh, my meditations are getting better.  i had a lull for a bit, but i feel like i’m back on track and in a good practice again.  and there is something happening in my life in the field of love – and it’s powerful.  my heart is transforming, that’s all i can say for now…

i began writing a book. mostly about my life… particularly, what i went through shortly before, during, and after the shift of the calendar day december 21, 2012… the end of the mayan calendar… my life hasn’t been the same since….  it’s gonna be a good one! 🙂

my grandmother passed away.  i’m flying back east to be with my family for a few days – that is the blessing in disguise about these things… it’s always nice to see family, but it’s a lousy reason to get together… it’s okay, i’m at peace about it, no doubt.

so… i’ll be back next week and i hope to use the new moon energy from friday to catapult me into the next phase.  i’m keeping my heart wide open, and making decisions only from that place… because it FEELS RIGHT.

greenheart-1

still seeing these everywhere i go…

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{whatever wordy wednesday} — a heart-shaped sweet potato and my alter-ego, “magenta ellis”

12 Dec

heartshapedpotato-1

“you always buy the unique-looking produce… the ones no one else wants, the oddballs, the misfits!” — a coworker said to me.

it’s true.

i like anything out of the ordinary. because me?! – i’m out of the ordinary…… i mean we are all unique, just like everyone else, right?!

but i’m a very old soul… and i’ve seen a LOT in my some 10 thousand years… and in my current waking life, i often feel like some of the fruits and vegetables i buy – discarded, overlooked, passed-by, out-casted, and just plain weird.  but dude, i’m totally still edible – and you know – some things get better with age… 😉

well… i found this potato particularly interesting because it kind of represented me.  not only was it heart-shaped, as i obviously am, and which i find a lot of random things that find their way into my visual path are, but it is also kind of two different colours.  it almost looks as if a garnet yam and a jewel yam are intertwined.  it got me thinking about how i believe we all have a duality to us. i was having a conversation with a friend about all the changes going on in the world right now – the talk of 2012 doomsday, or the hope of a 2012 arising – in love and light, and consciousness, perhaps? and we were discussing how we all have a “dark side” — and some of us publicly show it with acts of violence or utter projection as to inflict sheer pain on the person receiving it, and some of us albeit perhaps not as violent, still keep it very much hidden, which can take a TON of conscious effort. Continue reading →

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{whatever wednesday} — being OK with being okay…

26 Sep

so… here’s the thing about me… or at least, here’s how things have typically been for me…

although i see the world as very “gray” — i LIVE it very black and white.  what i mean by that is… it has appeared that for me i’m either super high and on top of it creating world peace the whole nine… OR, i’m super down and depressed feeling useless and hopeless and thinking even the flowers are out to get me… there is hardly an in between. seldom did i feel comfortable, content, “in a groove,” or most of all – peaceful.  that wasn’t always something i could FEEL and feel okay with…

i suppose this stems from a shaky childhood and the survival instinct of maturing faster than most due to losing a parent.  it could also have to do with my astrological chart, or the fact that i am a very very impatient old soul… but the truth is, it has always been hard for me to find a balance, or to find some comfort, some love, and some peace in the every day.  i speak of this in past-tense now because i can, because i am confident in saying that i no longer live like that.  i’ve spoken a handful of times now on how i feel i’ve changed over the last year, and am continuing to.  i’ve written about not only feeling the change but seeing it actually play out.  i make conscious choices each day to effect how i see life.  what’s frustrating is when i see people in life for who they are, and all they want to do is fake it — it’s just annoying, because i want to be like “you ain’t foolin’ me” but… i have to be a friggin’ politician about things sometimes and i’m kind of over that…

i digress, as usual. Continue reading →

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thanks!

22 Sep

right around july this year, my blog really took a turning point. i have fine-tuned what it is i want this blog to represent.  i have collected some dedicated readers, and i’ve also created a dedicated set of specific blogs i post each corresponding day of the week.  it feels nice to have some structure.

if i had time, i’d post 7-days a week.  and hopefully very soon i will be able to do that.  my “day job” is going great, and my foto job is starting to take a turn as well, for the better.  i am digging all the positive change happening in my life lately.  i’m so beyond grateful…

and since march when i began this blog – i’ve created a cool 127 posts, stacked up over 250 followers, and graciously received over 1,000 likes.

so… THANKS! 🙂

i appreciate you.

and you know what else i appreciate? Continue reading →

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{wordy wednesday} – i am.

22 Aug

hello you faithful readers, you.

so much is happening. a lot of energy is coming from everywhere.

i have been through some of the worst – i mean, the worst depression of my life… i’m comfortable in saying that i’m out of it now. i don’t want to think it has potential to ever surface again, but i’m a rational person – it might. however, i feel so completely different lately that i don’t know if it will ever have as much reign over me as it did this bout.  i’m telling you, it was awful. be thankful i didn’t blog about it, even though sometimes i wanted to – just to get it out of my head.

whatever, i don’t want to waste too much energy even talking about the fact that i suffer{ed} from that horrible debilitating condition.  well, it’s the human condition, actually.  suffering, pain, fear, separation… we all deal with it, in some fashion. some of us talk about it, some of us take it out on others, some of us take it out with drugs, some of us live a secluded life avoiding interacting with anything or anyone at all…

i guess my point is, i have so much to write about lately because now that i’m out of that horrible dark tunnel, i see the light and it’s so incredibly bright i can hardly stand it.  it’s like my favourite quote –

“our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate, our greatest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.  it is our light, not our darkness, which most frightens us.”

yeah.  good stuff.  and so, i’m feeling somewhat like that – only, less afraid, more excited.  i’m like, “holy crap that light is so damn bright – i can’t wait to be sucked up in it and spitting it back out at everything i see!!!” Continue reading →

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{wordy wednesday} – patience.

15 Aug

well well well.  what do we have here?

i’ve been in colorado for exactly a year now.  i’ve been doing the same job for that entire year.  that’s not normal for me – i’m very progressive, often get promoted quickly, move up quickly, etc.  i just have a go-getter attitude and people usually notice that.  hell, i was promoted within 2 months in new york city to one of the top managers of my store… all i gotta do is flash ’em that smile, usually – 😉

hehehe

well, as the universe would have it, i’ve once again been promoted.  i’m back in my stride, doing my thing, and i have the position i needed and wanted since i moved here.

what has the last year taught me then?  what has all that disappointment, struggle, hardship, nonsense, and hidden truth done for me?!  what has waiting, waiting, and waiting, done for me?!  what have i learned in all that?! Continue reading →

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{wordy wednesday} – the man in the mirror

8 Aug

“i’m starting with the man in the mirror, i’m asking him to change his ways – and no message could’ve been any clearer, if you want to make the world a better place, take a look at yourself and then make that CHANGE!”

— michael jackson, lyrical genius.

———

well, it’s wordy wednesday.  and i have a lot to say this time.  it’s been quite a week. a HUGE full moon last wednesday and i’m not talking viewable by a telescope huge, i mean like – effect me on all levels huge.  i have always talked about how i am a huge astrology buff.  i follow zoe moon astrology, and you should too!  she’s fantastic and always right on!  astrology and horoscopes are NOT exactly the same.  i’m not saying i follow my horoscope and freak out if “my crush” doesn’t ask me out even though my horoscope said it would.  i’m talking about astrology – a study of the movements of the planets.  it’s a very in-depth and fascinating field that i have studied more and more as time has gone on… also, i am very “in tune” with the planetary changes.  and i FELT this last full moon like, with major force.  it was intense!!! Continue reading →

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wordy wednesday — a long one, so what.

25 Jul

by the way, i’ve decided to add some real structure to this blog, so i have something to look forward to posting each week, and you have something new to look forward to reading.  this is how it will break down :

meatless monday – {vegan recipe}

travel tuesday – the foto {a blog about something cool i have done in NYC or somewhere along the way in my life}

wordy wednesday – {as you’re seeing here}

thirsty thursday – {on top of a new recipe, i’ll try a new beer or wine or mixed drink and recommend it to you }

foto friday – the foto {this will also be a blog about something to do with photography – most likely a portrait session or event i’ve shot, but it may be a recipe as well}

and i’ll probably take weekends off – as most people in the blogging community seem to do.  but i may occasionally break that rule, too 😉

———

i should preface this by saying i appreciate you readers SO much for taking time to read anything i write – and i’m also extremely tired and i can’t proofread this as in depth as i normally do, for i need a nap.  so, thanks for baring with my ramblings… it’s uber important i get out my thoughts!

—

 

 

shew.  what a morning.

it started with my cat, pawing relentlessly at my door until i let him in to cuddle – then i couldn’t get back to sleep so i shot up out of bed and did some quick yoga, then made a smoothie, sat down at my computer, and started crying.

this is how some days begin. Continue reading →

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audrey michelle’s 5-day colourful DIY cleanse

15 Jul

greetings, you awesome readers, you.

{i’ll be using this a lot next week}

so – i’ve decided to do a juice and raw veggie cleanse for the first time in my life.  i eat very well – 80% vegetables in my diet.  but i binge on my occasional “healthy junk food” as i call it.  and really, it’s not about anything other than i think i need to do it.  my body is telling me to.  this also goes along with an “intuitive eating lifestyle” i always talk about.  i know it’s time to do this.  for me, it’s not just a cleanse.  it’s a chance to hit the “reset” button.  to start over, kind of.  i’ve been living in colorado for a year now, and it was a really rough adjustment after leaving new york city… and i’d kind of like to say, “forget all that hardship, let’s start over”  so, i’m hoping a cleanse of the body will also cleanse the mind and my emotions, and allow me to let go and move on 🙂

i have always admired people who can do fasts like the master cleanse or even just juice or liquids alone. however, i have come to learn that i am not one of those people. i need to chew occasionally!

so, i made up my own cleanse.  mostly a fruit and veggie cleanse void of any meat, dairy, wheat, gluten, soy, oil, sugars {other than naturally occuring}, or processed ingredients.  just raw fruit and veggies in several forms.  and a TON of liquid flushing!  i’ve also decided against any grains or nuts, nutmilks, or anything solid, really – other than veggies and what’s in the protein powder i am using… so, it WILL be colourful!

i’m also adding in a minimal exercise routine – as to not overexert myself.  but also, to keep the body moving and the blood flowing. — isn’t that what it’s all about anyway?! 😉

and – the saddest part : no coffee, no alcohol — womp womp. Continue reading →

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two restaurants i miss most from NYC – and i shoulda been a food critic!

16 Jun

goodness, do i miss new york.

did you know i lived there? — for 3 years. i miss it every day.  mostly, when i reflect – i realize that what i miss the most is the diversity… in everything. people, culture, music, views, buildings, art, sounds, lights, and most of all – food.

i lived right in the heart of lower manhattan, surrounded by {in my humble opinion}, the best food ever. Continue reading →

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hey GMO, quit trying to get in my plants!

2 Jun

GMO – do you know what this term means?  i’m sure you’ve heard doctor oz mention it, and if you’ve ever been to a whole foods market, you’ve seen their signage boasting they do not carry any GMO products. i for one, do my absolute best to ensure i do not consume any GMO products.  why is this?!  let me see if i can break it down without becoming too intense, ramble-y, or make you want to click on something else…….. oh, and there won’t be any fotos or recipes in this blog — i’m way too worked up lately and need to get some stuff of my chest… so, thanks in advance for sticking with me! Continue reading →

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soapbox diary – entry 1

29 Apr

so, i started to write this as a preface to a recipe blog, and as i started to type i couldn’t stop – so, this has now become a blog entry of its own.  nothing to do with a recipe.  no photos.  just a rant from your chef – as i stand on my soapbox, waving my spatula around and eating walnuts to help my brain – about food-related topics i get all worked up about… {i have a feeling this won’t be the last entry, either}

so, read on as you will – but you’ve been forewarned 🙂 Continue reading →

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