Tag Archives: life

{whatever wednesday} — self.

23 Jan

it’s high time i shoot some more self-portraits.  the last time i did that was in 2010. and it’s very liberating and healthy for me to occasionally get in FRONT of the camera. it’s kind of an unspoken general rule – photographers don’t like being photographed. i don’t mind it sometimes, so long as i’m the one taking the pictures! 😉

i remembered this collection when i was organizing my files recently. sometimes i feel like about 86 personalities inside this tiny little physical form of a body.  i feel very introspective at the moment – so i thought i’d share these fotos which emulate just that.

New York City Continue reading →

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , ,

{whatever wednesday} — whatever!

9 Jan

seriously though – whatever.

i mean, i have so much to catch you all up on.  not only delicious food and drinks but also photos and updates on practically everything.  my entire life has shifted and there is an abundant amount of change occurring in every corner… not only in my own life, but in everything i see around me.

i moved recently.  totally different environment. it just happened so fast, everything is happening so fast… it’s for the best, and i’m just going to trust my heart on this one… still in the transitional period, but am integrating well…

my diet is changing more and more every day.  i cleansed for a few weeks prior to 12/21 – and i’m sure that effected my body.  i’ve noticed now that i can’t tolerate certain foods anymore… i literally spit out a piece of ham over the holidays.  i’m not one for eating much meat anyway, but i like to savour it as a treat on special occasions.  i couldn’t eat it.  i don’t know if it was the salt or if my body is just that smart but i was like, “okay, i can’t eat pork anymore, ever.”  i also have been eating less wheat. even though it’s not prevalent in my diet, i can’t stomach it much anymore… it’s hard for me to digest.  i recognize this and so i just listen to what my body is telling me… dairy.  ohhh – damn you, dairy!  i haven’t really been one to drink a lot of milk or eat a lot of ice cream {i’m kind of lying on that one} but i do loves me some cheese. mm mm, but ohhhhh no i can’t do it anymore. some are better than others – parmesan and feta aren’t so bad.  i’m pretty much down to a vegan diet lately. and i don’t like soy products or highly processed foods, so that basically keeps me down to eating almost a raw organic diet.  and i guess i’m mentioning this because it could greatly shift what this blog is all about.  it’s a new year, and mine has been off to a start full of change and i’m free-flowing in the wind… a blank canvas.

what else?!  so i moved, i’m vegan… oh, my meditations are getting better.  i had a lull for a bit, but i feel like i’m back on track and in a good practice again.  and there is something happening in my life in the field of love – and it’s powerful.  my heart is transforming, that’s all i can say for now…

i began writing a book. mostly about my life… particularly, what i went through shortly before, during, and after the shift of the calendar day december 21, 2012… the end of the mayan calendar… my life hasn’t been the same since….  it’s gonna be a good one! 🙂

my grandmother passed away.  i’m flying back east to be with my family for a few days – that is the blessing in disguise about these things… it’s always nice to see family, but it’s a lousy reason to get together… it’s okay, i’m at peace about it, no doubt.

so… i’ll be back next week and i hope to use the new moon energy from friday to catapult me into the next phase.  i’m keeping my heart wide open, and making decisions only from that place… because it FEELS RIGHT.

greenheart-1

still seeing these everywhere i go…

Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

{foto friday} — LOVE actually is… all around.

4 Jan

well – for me, it seems to be EVERYWHERE i look lately — even my toilet paper has a heart-pattern on it.

the truth is – i’m changing, and therefore – so is the world i {we} live in.

LOVELOVELOVELOVELOVELOVELOVELOVELOVELOVELOVELOVELOVE

{kind of looks like “evolve” in there, eh?!}

loveandhearts-6

LOVE this scarf… i just might have to wear it every day 😉

loveandhearts-9

🙂

loveandhearts-13

everywhere… Continue reading →

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

{whatever wordy wednesday} — a heart-shaped sweet potato and my alter-ego, “magenta ellis”

12 Dec

heartshapedpotato-1

“you always buy the unique-looking produce… the ones no one else wants, the oddballs, the misfits!” — a coworker said to me.

it’s true.

i like anything out of the ordinary. because me?! – i’m out of the ordinary…… i mean we are all unique, just like everyone else, right?!

but i’m a very old soul… and i’ve seen a LOT in my some 10 thousand years… and in my current waking life, i often feel like some of the fruits and vegetables i buy – discarded, overlooked, passed-by, out-casted, and just plain weird.  but dude, i’m totally still edible – and you know – some things get better with age… 😉

well… i found this potato particularly interesting because it kind of represented me.  not only was it heart-shaped, as i obviously am, and which i find a lot of random things that find their way into my visual path are, but it is also kind of two different colours.  it almost looks as if a garnet yam and a jewel yam are intertwined.  it got me thinking about how i believe we all have a duality to us. i was having a conversation with a friend about all the changes going on in the world right now – the talk of 2012 doomsday, or the hope of a 2012 arising – in love and light, and consciousness, perhaps? and we were discussing how we all have a “dark side” — and some of us publicly show it with acts of violence or utter projection as to inflict sheer pain on the person receiving it, and some of us albeit perhaps not as violent, still keep it very much hidden, which can take a TON of conscious effort. Continue reading →

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , ,

{foto friday} — stillness and reflection

30 Nov

i was trying to quickly figure out what to blog about this morning.  i have a fun day lined up but i also don’t have a ton of creative time left this morning. so – as i was scrolling through images, i found this one.  it totally describes how i feel lately, so i found it perfect for today’s post.  i have found myself being a little extra nit-picky lately.  kind of pointing out things i don’t like about certain other people and kind of complaining a lot lately.  no good. when i saw this image it was like a reminder :

branch-web-1

i need to be still like the water and reflect – because whatever i DON’T LIKE in that person, is something i don’t like within myself.  it is a reflection, we ALL represent that mirror for each other, and when i noticed my repetitive thoughts about this situation or person i didn’t like, it was a HUGE red flag for me to slow down and reflect… and meditate and let go 😉

have a great weekend, everyone!  share a little love

Tags: , , , , , , , ,

{foto friday} – love is always the appropriate reaction

16 Nov

i feel like KISSing today.  Keeping It Seriously Simple.

i have a long weekend and week ahead of me.  i am working straight through to my birthday, which coincidentally happens to be on thanksgiving this year.  i plan to cook a feast for myself and meditate under my stars all night.  i’m kind of weird… even though i work in the public and enjoy helping others, i’m actually quite a loner and am extremely introverted… so it’s totally okay 🙂

anyway… i feel really good lately and even though this is true, i do realize not everyone is so “zen” during the holidays, and therefore i’m trying to remember this simple truth over the next week :

i saw this on a building once when strolling through the lower east side of manhattan.  i obviously had to take a picture.  two days later i walked that same block and it had been painted over.  i still have it as my screen saver on my phone and i try to live by this rule every day.  it’s such a simple truth, and i find that when i react to situations with love, with only the highest version of myself, things are just better. the world needs more love.  it’s part of our “job” here, to spread the love that we ARE… in fact, it’s the only reason we are here.

oNeLoVe.

Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

{whatever wednesday} — an update.

24 Oct

hello you wonderful faithful readers, you!

I MISS YOU!  i missed blogging.  i was away for the weekend, and although i had created some drafts of blogs to post, my internet connection wasn’t as reliable as i would’ve preferred, so i didn’t even write a {meatless monday} this week and i feel like i have so much to share with you all!

well, not really.  i mean, kind of.  i just missed blogging.

i’m sick – i almost always manage to get some kind of head cold or sinus infection pretty much every time i travel. i’m used to it, i always got sinus infections when i was younger.  whatever, it’s not a big deal – the word “infection” kind of freaks people out, i think. but it’s really something i’m kind of used to when i fly… i can avoid it if i’m proactive, but these past couple of weeks were like a whirlwind!  anyway, it’s just that i don’t always do my neti-pot lately and i’m sure that would’ve helped prevent this icky feeling. but i will kick its ass, don’t worry. Continue reading →

Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

{whatever wednesday} — a gentle reminder…

17 Oct

a sweet message from my morning yogi tea – “let your heart guide you”  — and this is why i drink yogi tea… it tastes amazing, they use organic ingredients, AND – they leave you little reminders for your spirit.

i am especially grateful for my morning tea today… and for all the love the universe showers me with.  sometimes it’s hard to hear/feel your heart clearly speak to you amidst all the noise of every day life.  but if you quiet the mind, and {as my spiritual guru would say} crack that chest open and inhale – it’s amazing how much love will flow right through you.  i’m not saying it’s easy, i’m saying it takes lots of practice.  the heart is the 4th chakra, right smack in the middle.  it is the most neutral of our chakras.  it is neutral because it has no opinion, it just is.  the heart is the center, and it only knows love – and love has no opposite, it just IS.  it accepts, it forgives, it doesn’t hold on, and it is free. so be good to you heart, and listen to it more – tell the brain to take the backseat… your heart got this!

and i – i believe in the power of love.

and ya’ll should, too! because… we ARE love.

oNeLoVe

Tags: , , , ,

{whatever wednesday} – it’s a new dawn…

10 Oct

it’s a new day… it’s a new life…

colorado has THE BEST sunrises this time of year!!!!!  stay tuned for more…

Tags: , , , , , ,

{whatever wednesday} — being OK with being okay…

26 Sep

so… here’s the thing about me… or at least, here’s how things have typically been for me…

although i see the world as very “gray” — i LIVE it very black and white.  what i mean by that is… it has appeared that for me i’m either super high and on top of it creating world peace the whole nine… OR, i’m super down and depressed feeling useless and hopeless and thinking even the flowers are out to get me… there is hardly an in between. seldom did i feel comfortable, content, “in a groove,” or most of all – peaceful.  that wasn’t always something i could FEEL and feel okay with…

i suppose this stems from a shaky childhood and the survival instinct of maturing faster than most due to losing a parent.  it could also have to do with my astrological chart, or the fact that i am a very very impatient old soul… but the truth is, it has always been hard for me to find a balance, or to find some comfort, some love, and some peace in the every day.  i speak of this in past-tense now because i can, because i am confident in saying that i no longer live like that.  i’ve spoken a handful of times now on how i feel i’ve changed over the last year, and am continuing to.  i’ve written about not only feeling the change but seeing it actually play out.  i make conscious choices each day to effect how i see life.  what’s frustrating is when i see people in life for who they are, and all they want to do is fake it — it’s just annoying, because i want to be like “you ain’t foolin’ me” but… i have to be a friggin’ politician about things sometimes and i’m kind of over that…

i digress, as usual. Continue reading →

Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

thanks!

22 Sep

right around july this year, my blog really took a turning point. i have fine-tuned what it is i want this blog to represent.  i have collected some dedicated readers, and i’ve also created a dedicated set of specific blogs i post each corresponding day of the week.  it feels nice to have some structure.

if i had time, i’d post 7-days a week.  and hopefully very soon i will be able to do that.  my “day job” is going great, and my foto job is starting to take a turn as well, for the better.  i am digging all the positive change happening in my life lately.  i’m so beyond grateful…

and since march when i began this blog – i’ve created a cool 127 posts, stacked up over 250 followers, and graciously received over 1,000 likes.

so… THANKS! 🙂

i appreciate you.

and you know what else i appreciate? Continue reading →

Tags: , , , , , , ,

{whatever wednesday} — just a rant about life… and living.

19 Sep

i’ve been thinking a lot lately.  about a lot, lately.

i don’t always have time to sit down and write – and i’m not even writing, i’m typing.  how did people WRITE back in the day?!  this is the kind of stuff i think about… i mean, i know how they did it – it just baffles me when i think about the fact that they did. it blows my mind how much we’ve advanced and yet how much we lack basic knowledge of what i would consider “common” things… for example, basic writing. at one point in our human existence, we had to take a pencil or pen and a whole ream of paper and sit and write what would now be viewable on a 30 plus inch screen.  what gets me all rant-y about it all is that we have no idea how great we have it… we fill our lives with meaningless crap and other people’s ideas of what “life” should be. and LIFE is so very simple, so very easy… if we can but let go and realize that we aren’t living it, IT is living through us… does that make sense? well, at least this is what i believe.

we get to breathe every day.  do you know how much has to exist, work together, and create inside of our bodies for that to happen? it’s ridiculous!  i wish i could go back to like, what? – 9th grade science – and learn all about the human body again… and really pay attention this time.

or just go the library and get a huge book on it.

or google the $h!t out of it. Continue reading →

Tags: , , , , , ,

{wordy wednesday} — leaves of change

5 Sep

i have seriously been sitting at my computer all morning – i started 3 different blogs, got distracted, ate breakfast, cried a little {good cry}, and then started all over.  i blame nicki minaj.  i have been listening to the song “fly” on repeat since i woke up.  it’s my new theme song.  my favourite lyrics :

“Everybody wanna try to box me in
Suffocating every time it locks me in
Paint their own pictures then they crop me in
But I will remain where the top begins
Cause I am not a word, I am not a line
I am not a girl that can ever be defined

I am not fly, I am levitation
I represent an entire generation…” Continue reading →

Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

{wordy wednesday} – i am.

22 Aug

hello you faithful readers, you.

so much is happening. a lot of energy is coming from everywhere.

i have been through some of the worst – i mean, the worst depression of my life… i’m comfortable in saying that i’m out of it now. i don’t want to think it has potential to ever surface again, but i’m a rational person – it might. however, i feel so completely different lately that i don’t know if it will ever have as much reign over me as it did this bout.  i’m telling you, it was awful. be thankful i didn’t blog about it, even though sometimes i wanted to – just to get it out of my head.

whatever, i don’t want to waste too much energy even talking about the fact that i suffer{ed} from that horrible debilitating condition.  well, it’s the human condition, actually.  suffering, pain, fear, separation… we all deal with it, in some fashion. some of us talk about it, some of us take it out on others, some of us take it out with drugs, some of us live a secluded life avoiding interacting with anything or anyone at all…

i guess my point is, i have so much to write about lately because now that i’m out of that horrible dark tunnel, i see the light and it’s so incredibly bright i can hardly stand it.  it’s like my favourite quote –

“our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate, our greatest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.  it is our light, not our darkness, which most frightens us.”

yeah.  good stuff.  and so, i’m feeling somewhat like that – only, less afraid, more excited.  i’m like, “holy crap that light is so damn bright – i can’t wait to be sucked up in it and spitting it back out at everything i see!!!” Continue reading →

Tags: , , , , , ,

{foto friday} – the time i watched a praying mantis bathe herself…

17 Aug

this was hands-down, one of the coolest things i’ve ever witnessed with my own eyes.

this post is kind of wordy – as i tend to be when i write.  get me in front of people for a speech?!  pffssthh, forget it.  i’m a hott mess.  but writing — now, writing i can do!

—

last year – around this time, a little later – i’ll say late september… i found a pregnant praying mantis on our front porch, just hanging out in the honeysuckle bush my roommate has planted by the kitchen window.  i about fell over.  i’ve had a total fascination with these neat little creatures my whole life… i never really understood what the draw to them was, but last year when i saw one i did a little research.  there are lots of different opinions and thoughts as to their symbolism.  they are said to bring stillness, sense of peace, and more internalized thinking.  because they are so mindful about their every move, the mantis is known in some parts of the world as being very spiritual and she is looked upon as almost a meditation resource. i thought i read somewhere that they can also represent death… a surrender, a letting go, etc. and ironically enough, i lost my grandmother about 2 months after i saw that praying mantis last year. Continue reading →

Tags: , , , , , ,

{wordy wednesday} – patience.

15 Aug

well well well.  what do we have here?

i’ve been in colorado for exactly a year now.  i’ve been doing the same job for that entire year.  that’s not normal for me – i’m very progressive, often get promoted quickly, move up quickly, etc.  i just have a go-getter attitude and people usually notice that.  hell, i was promoted within 2 months in new york city to one of the top managers of my store… all i gotta do is flash ’em that smile, usually – 😉

hehehe

well, as the universe would have it, i’ve once again been promoted.  i’m back in my stride, doing my thing, and i have the position i needed and wanted since i moved here.

what has the last year taught me then?  what has all that disappointment, struggle, hardship, nonsense, and hidden truth done for me?!  what has waiting, waiting, and waiting, done for me?!  what have i learned in all that?! Continue reading →

Tags: , , , , ,

{wordy wednesday} – the man in the mirror

8 Aug

“i’m starting with the man in the mirror, i’m asking him to change his ways – and no message could’ve been any clearer, if you want to make the world a better place, take a look at yourself and then make that CHANGE!”

— michael jackson, lyrical genius.

———

well, it’s wordy wednesday.  and i have a lot to say this time.  it’s been quite a week. a HUGE full moon last wednesday and i’m not talking viewable by a telescope huge, i mean like – effect me on all levels huge.  i have always talked about how i am a huge astrology buff.  i follow zoe moon astrology, and you should too!  she’s fantastic and always right on!  astrology and horoscopes are NOT exactly the same.  i’m not saying i follow my horoscope and freak out if “my crush” doesn’t ask me out even though my horoscope said it would.  i’m talking about astrology – a study of the movements of the planets.  it’s a very in-depth and fascinating field that i have studied more and more as time has gone on… also, i am very “in tune” with the planetary changes.  and i FELT this last full moon like, with major force.  it was intense!!! Continue reading →

Tags: , , , , , ,

wordy wednesday — a long one, so what.

25 Jul

by the way, i’ve decided to add some real structure to this blog, so i have something to look forward to posting each week, and you have something new to look forward to reading.  this is how it will break down :

meatless monday – {vegan recipe}

travel tuesday – the foto {a blog about something cool i have done in NYC or somewhere along the way in my life}

wordy wednesday – {as you’re seeing here}

thirsty thursday – {on top of a new recipe, i’ll try a new beer or wine or mixed drink and recommend it to you }

foto friday – the foto {this will also be a blog about something to do with photography – most likely a portrait session or event i’ve shot, but it may be a recipe as well}

and i’ll probably take weekends off – as most people in the blogging community seem to do.  but i may occasionally break that rule, too 😉

———

i should preface this by saying i appreciate you readers SO much for taking time to read anything i write – and i’m also extremely tired and i can’t proofread this as in depth as i normally do, for i need a nap.  so, thanks for baring with my ramblings… it’s uber important i get out my thoughts!

—

 

 

shew.  what a morning.

it started with my cat, pawing relentlessly at my door until i let him in to cuddle – then i couldn’t get back to sleep so i shot up out of bed and did some quick yoga, then made a smoothie, sat down at my computer, and started crying.

this is how some days begin. Continue reading →

Tags: , , , , , , , ,

{the foto} the little ant that could…

17 Jul

so, i’m doing my morning yoga yesterday and it’s a lovely morning… the sun is hot as per usual here in colorado even at 9 a.m. i was resting in corpse pose, breathing in the quiet morning air, when i suddenly heard this scraping sound along the concrete. i had my two furry four-legged children out with me, but they were accounted for.  so, i lift up my head to see what is the noise, and that’s when i connect with mister adam the ant. — as he’s dragging a seemingly no-longer-living “rollie pollie” across the small walk in my backyard. just like this :

i was a little confused, having just learned in that moment that perhaps ants are not vegetarians… hmm, curious. Continue reading →

Tags: , , , , , , ,

Newer Entries →