it is with a very heavy and woeful heart that i post this blog.
this past week, i made the very difficult decision to put my kitty, callee, down to eternal rest. she was my best friend, my sidekick, my companion, my love. she gave me purpose and something to look forward to coming home to. for so many years she gave me a reason to feel important, a love i have still never known, and so much appreciation in my heart for what a good girl she was. she did not bite or scratch people or furniture, she didn’t jump on countertops, knock stuff over, or most of the typical cat stuff. she was so loving and sweet and loved to be adored and petted. she was my little shadow… followed me everywhere. she “slow-blinked” at me all the time and just adored me. she was a “talker” as my best friend would say, she was vocal and a good listener, she was also a good learner and just an overall great animal and pet. i was overwhelmingly blessed to have her in my life for such a long time. i still can’t believe she’s gone. it will take me some time to grieve and move on. i used to think i would want another kitty immediately, but now that i’m here in this space and time, i realize i feel differently… i just know i need to have grace with myself and allow myself to take it all one moment and day at a time until i decide i may want to adopt again.
losing her is a great loss for me. it was a long time coming… she had been declining for about the last year and i did all i could to hold on and let her hold on… but in the last days, i knew she was ready to go. she was telling me every day and finally i had to make the decision in haste. i found a wonderful local place that was able to take her immediately and so graciously helped and comforted me through the very tragic and daunting process. i also had a tremendously wonderful friend help me through the entire journey, even long before the final day arrived. these people are important to me and i will be forever grateful to have them there during the painful and heart-wrenching procedure.
in her final days, she was a lot more affectionate with me. she was always so loving, but not much of a “lap cat.” but one day last week she came into my recliner with me and laid on my chest for what felt like days, although it was probably only a half hour. but it was the best gift she could’ve given me. she nudged her little head into my armpit and held me close. i will forever cherish that moment. days later, when we sat in the veterinarian office and i had made my last memories with her, she was calm and was purring and rubbing her head against my hand, almost as if to thank me. we both knew it was time. and i reminded her that although i was no longer going to be able to play the role of her mama on this earth, that she would be so warmly greeted and welcomed by my mama on the other side.
and believe me when i say this – SHE UNDERSTOOD THAT! ❤
so on this mothers day, which is usually a hard day for me anyway, i honour my mother, and also being a “mother” to my sweet kitty, callee. she changed my life, saved my life, and forever will be in my life… and in my heart.
thank you to all of you who have made sweet comments about my dear callee girl, and those of you who had the pleasure to meet her, pet her, hear her, know her, and love her.
i’ll most likely post another blog with more pics of her… but for now, i will close with this favourite foto of her from 2017.
I LOVE YOU FOREVER, CALLEE GIRL!
Tags: animals, audrey michelle, callee, cats, cute cats, food and foto, fotographer, grief, life events, loss, love, pain, personal, pets, rainbow bridge, stories, updates
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